Supper soup is simmering on the stove while a buttercup squash bakes in the oven. I’m here, writing in the kitchen while waiting for my man. A pot of tea is brewing. Elder blossom, peppermint and stevia is the choice for tonight, simply because all other options are packed away. I’m breathing, living one moment at a time.
At least, I am today.
Last night I had a breakdown. I told my man I didn’t want to talk about house stuff because it made me tense inside. I told him I hated this transition phase of chaos, disorder, the constant change of plans. I told him I didn’t ever want to build a house again. And (I’m ashamed to admit), I blamed him for the upheaval.
Don’t worry! He called me on it and we made up this morning.
Neither of us are responsible for the forest fires that delayed our project two months. We’re both babes in this process. And we’ll make mistakes as we go. A friend recently reminded me via Instagram that I need to extend grace in this season of life. Because it is crazy.
“Such good advice, Heidi! I blew it last night, but I’m going to try to be more grace-extending in the future. Really. Truly.”
This move currently feels like a monster that’s trying to swallow us whole. It has become a third party party in our marriage. It dominates our conversation, thoughts and actions. Think morning time, meal time, car time, down time, bed time…every time, all the time!
My man keeps reminding me it’s only a season in life. It’ll soon blow over and we’ll return to normal life with gratefulness for what we’ve been able to accomplish. I try to see his perspective.
And I am grateful on a different level. This build has given us opportunity to see and be on the receiving end of helping hands. It’s been incredible to watch so many folks pitch in and help! From outbuildings to excavating, electrical to plumbing, we’ve been surrounded by generous friends, family and even new neighbors.
If I can make it through this upcoming week, I’ll live. The last of our foundation work should be complete and in terms of the winter race, we’ll have made it.
A week from today, we’re receiving an onslaught of family. Namely, four of my carpenter brothers and their families. A good, old fashioned house raising is in order! Women are tending to the food while the men work. Single aunties will help care for the kids. And work, we will!
This season will pass by. And I won’t, so long as I keep my sights set on taking one moment at a time.
One moment at a time!
Push forward, we will.