I Can Only Say, I Love You

On that special day, I looked deep into his eyes and promised to stand by his side until death claimed one of us. I meant it. And I still do, on this 5th wedding anniversary.

Sometimes, I can hardly believe it’s true. It certainly doesn’t feel that long! And as the 5 year milestone only comes once in a married couple’s lifetime, I though I’d better write something sweet about it all, y’know?

I tried. But nothing along those lines came to me. All I know is that in this season of married life, I’ve been thinking about how unexplainable this love is.

At different points throughout our marriage, both my man and I have asked the question of the other: “why do you love me?” Do you know, the answer never came easy? How do you explain to someone the why behind your love?

I can rattle off a list of the things I like about my man. I can immediately pinpoint the things I’m grateful for, things I enjoy and appreciate about him, the things that make him attractive to me. But somehow, all this doesn’t do love justice.

“I love you because you make me laugh.”

Come to think of it, lots of people make me laugh and I certainly don’t love them like I love this man!

“I love you because I know you care about the people around you.”

But I know lots of very caring people, but I don’t love them in the way I love him.

“I love you because you’re sincere and open, willing to learn and change.”

So does such-and-such a friend, this person and that family member. I certainly don’t feel the same way toward them!

How do I put words to this special love? I usually find myself totally and utterly confused when I have to voice my “why.”

Do you know what I mean? Have you ever experienced this difficulty?

Even more difficult is understanding how this love works. It isn’t just pleasant experiences, adventures, romantic moments or working side by side that deepen love between my man and I. Sometimes, it’s the hard, pain-filled stuff that more deeply drives in the spike that holds our hearts together.

I can’t explain love. Or even why I love him. I just do.

Perhaps, if I was poet, I could find the words.

But then I sometimes wonder if this is one thing that isn’t meant to be put to words. Maybe it’s just one of those things that’s better shown and experienced, because words simply fail to capture the depth of this unique love.

So on our 5th anniversary, I simply say to my man, I love you. And I trust he knows the rest.

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