As a homemaker, do you ever wrestle with the feeling that you’re never doing enough? Ever been unsettled over your at-home life, because there is no boss to direct your time, your attentions or your day? To tell you when you’re doing it “right” and when you’ve got it “wrong?”
Am I Doing Enough?
Being a full time homemaker is like being self employed! But unlike a job, we often fail to have a clear vision of what we want for our family and home. This contributes to feelings of guilt, failure and a nagging sense of never measuring up to…well…we don’t know exactly what we’re trying to measure up to! Sometimes it’s a friend’s at-home life, your mom’s standard, his mom’s opinions, our own ideals or comparison to that gal you follow on IG who always has it together!
As a full time homemaker, I often feel like I’m doing a poor job. It’s not pleasant to live this way, day after day! But I am trying to understand how to live this life in a fuller, richer way. And because I know some of you wrestle with the same stuff, I thought I’d openly share about what I’m learning with the whole situation, things that have helped me find peace.
Get Clear On What You Want for Your Home
For the stay-at-home wife, this repetitious life often causes us to lose focus. We forget what our #1 priorities are and instead, we get caught up in comparison, trying to emulate others and what works for their unique home, in to-do lists that never end and the feeling that we’re failing to reach our ideals.
I don’t know about you, but I often forget that I only have 24 hours in a day. I forget that life happens, that it’s messy and rarely goes according to plan! Because we can’t do it all, it’s very important that we take time to evaluate and decide exactly what our top priorities are in this homemaking life!
Are healthy meals important to you? Do you function better if your home is free of excessive clutter? Is it important that your family eats dinner together every night? Perhaps there’s a certain attitude or atmosphere you’re trying to cultivate within the little humans that live under your roof?
Do the Homework
Take some time to think on it. Talk to someone about it. Ask God if there’s anything He’d like to speak to you about in this regard. Journal about it. Your home is unique to you, your family and also the season of life you’re in. Take some time to define your priorities!
Once you know what matters to you, it’s time to set habits in motion that will help you live accordingly.
Perhaps you need to embrace a daily meal plan? Dedicate 15 minutes a day to cleaning house or clearing out clutter? Could it be that the attitude you’re trying to cultivate in your little humans needs to begin with a change in you?
Name it. Claim it. Write it down. Declare your new priorities to someone (because we’re 70% more likely to do a thing when we tell someone we ARE going to do it) and then set your sights on those most important things.
And when that feeling of never doing enough tries try to creep back in...you can shush it up because you’ve given your home prayer, some serious thought and know what IS most important for your unique self, family and home!
Adjust According to Seasons in Life
In it all, remember that this is beautiful, untamed life we live, and we must be willing to adapt and adjust.
We all go through seasons where our ‘normal’ must be released.
If you’re battling fatigue and need more rest, it’s probably time to let most of the housekeeping go. New baby going thru a period of purple crying? Sleep is more important than washed dishes! Dealing with depression because you’ve spent too much time at home? Leave the home and kids with dad for an evening and go connect with a trusted friend.
Keep the most important things as the most important, yes. But also give yourself permission to change your priorities as needed.
What Do You Think?
What do you think? Do you allow the standards and opinions of others to control how you feel about yourself as a homemaker? What about your own ideals? Is it time to define the priorities of your home?
If you have questions for me about this process, please feel free to email me (firstname.lastname@example.org). Have helpful tips to share? Leave them in the comments below!