• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

a traditional life

keep a traditional kitchen, garden and pantry

  • Home
  • Kitchen
    • decor & design
    • Natural Kitchen
  • Homemaking
  • Recipes
    • Tips & Tutorials
    • Fermenting
    • Good Recipes
  • Preserving
    • Dehydrating
    • Freezing
    • Pressure Canning
    • Waterbath Canning
    • Cold Room Storage
  • Farm & Garden
    • Country Life
    • Herbs & Flowers
    • Vegetable Garden
    • Small Creatures

Being a Homemaker by Choice (and why it can be difficult)

January 14, 2021 by Autumn 6 Comments

Have you ever felt lost in your homemaking life? Uncertain of how to live your days in a profitable, productive manner? Maybe you’ve distinctly felt that something is missing…but you aren’t sure what it is? Perhaps you’ve even felt guilty for not loving your position as a homemaker?!

You’re not alone. Many women flounder when they first step into the shoes of “ full time homemaker.” I know I did…and the floundering went on for a while!

I’m here to help you make sense of this normal dilemma and hopefully help you better understand why you (especially if you’re a beginner) may be struggling and stumbling in your homemaking life.

Let me talk to you about being a homemaker by choice and why it can be difficult!

 

Why Homemaking Can Be Difficult

Let’s quickly define exactly what a homemaker is before we go on!

According to the dictionary sitting on my bookshelf (yes, I often use a literal copy), the modern definition of a homemaker is “a person who manages a home, especially a woman who is a wife and mother.”

The definition of “homemaker” hasn’t changed for centuries!

But I do know for a fact that the fine print behind it has!

And I believe that’s where the confusion comes in for those of us who are trying to be full time homemakers! Let me explain what I mean.

a row of aprons hanging on the side of a kitchen hutch

 

History of the Homemaker

If you know anything about me, you know I love reading about and studying domestic history! I devour old cookbooks that not only share old fashioned recipes, but also give directions on proper etiquette and behavior for the housewife.

Some of these directives amuse me, others make me thoughtful and still others inspire me to become a better homemaker!

But if there’s one thing I’ve observed, it’s this: the title “homemaker” used to have clarity and specificity surrounding it. The tasks, skill sets and responsibilities that came with homemaking were understood by all.

And if perchance a homemaker didn’t learn all she needed to know in her mother’s home, she had to learn through trial and error in her own home (poor husband!).

 

Why You Struggle With Full Time Homemaking

The fine print behind homemaking has been steadily changing since the industrial revolution (and even before that time). As women began working jobs outside the home, there was less time to give to the home.

Because there wasn’t enough time in the day and because there was money to pay someone else, the homemaker could drop tasks that were previously necessary for running a household and caring for the family. The mindset toward the home, shifted. And the home became a place where the woman would crash and gear up before heading back out into the work world.

Because of this general shift in our culture, homemaking skills and the knowledge…even the mindset for living a rich, full time life at home…began to slip away.

And now, the “at home” wife and mama has to wrestle with something that has never before existed in the course of human history.

There’s a gap. A lack of knowledge and understanding.

Because full time homemaking is different than part time homemaking. And when there’s no outside job involved, a woman needs to develop new skills and mindsets if she is to be happy with her at-home life!

 

What Is the Solution?

If you worked a job before becoming a homemaker, you probably saw your home as a place to veg and recharge before heading back to work the next day.

But now that you’re a full time homemaker, caring for your home and the people in it is your primary job. And to live well in this role, you need to treat your home like something more than a pit stop.

I encourage you grab a pen and a piece of paper, to sit down and take 5 minutes to write out the things you want for (and from) your home!

Putting healthy meals on the table important you?

Then start forming a collection of healthy meals your family loves so you don’t go brain-dead at 4pm and pull out a frozen pizza for the 4th time this week.

Is it cleaner spaces you want?

Put yourself on a simple cleaning schedule for the home, even if you can only do 15 minutes a day. And if you have older children, make them start helping!

More intentional time with the kids?

Create a simple “flow” for the day ahead. Not a schedule, but an order in which you want to see basic things happen. Make sure the kid time has a place in that flow.

Maybe you’re an extrovert who wants to be with and share her home with others?

Be intentional about setting up play dates, about having friends over for tea or sharing a meal.

Choose one thing from your list and start incorporating into your life and routine this week!

 

Being a Homemaker by Choice (and how to like it)

Making the transition from work to being a full time wife and homemaker wasn’t easy for me…and my own mother WAS a full time homemaker. There was a huge mindset shift that had to take place as I transitioned from the “work world” mentality to the “at home” mindset.

But as I became more intentional about my space and priorities, I did slowly settle into this old fashioned occupation.

I even learned to enjoy it! And so can you, if you keep an open mind and remember that you’re in training for a new position!

What has your journey been like? Was it easy for you to settle into at-home life? Do you have any tips for us? Feel free to share them below!

Share with someone else!

Previous Post: « Fermented Tomato Salsa Recipe
Next Post: A Year’s Review of the Mountain Cottage Gardens »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Karen says

    October 17, 2021 at 11:41 pm

    I love this. My whole childhood was focused on the “what do you want to BE when you grow up” attitude around me, in school. My mom stayed home with us and loved it. Now, I see how how talented she is.
    I look forward to getting better and better. Now that my youngest is 6, it’s turning into a much more enjoyable position. Homeschool has been such a blessing.

    Reply
    • Autumn says

      October 18, 2021 at 1:46 pm

      There’s so much to manage and handle in running a home, isn’t there?! It takes real talent and management skills, particularly when homeschooling! All the best to you!

      Reply
  2. Ilga says

    April 27, 2021 at 4:09 am

    This is very informative. Thank you for sharing. Honestly, I’d like to be a homemaker. I’ve been considering it and I think it wouldn’t be so bad..

    Reply
    • Autumn says

      April 27, 2021 at 8:38 am

      Hi Ilga!
      I tell people homemaking is like being self employed! You need to have a vision, set goals and then every day, take steps to reach those goals. If you’re intentional, you can accomplish and contribute so much! Good luck!

      Reply
  3. Laurie says

    January 21, 2021 at 3:56 pm

    I love this.
    Homemaking is a very important calling.
    I have done full time working outside of the home, then full time Homemaking, and now I’m trying to juggle both. Believe me, I am seeing the value of me being home. It’s just difficult to do it all, but we aren’t superwomen!

    Thanks for sharing!
    Laurie
    http://www.ridgehavenhomestead.com

    Reply
    • Autumn says

      January 21, 2021 at 9:45 pm

      Thanks for taking time to share your thoughts. All the best to you and your ventures!
      Autumn

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Primary Sidebar

  • Email
  • Pinterest
  • YouTube

hey you!

hey you!

I'm Autumn! And I hope to inspire you with my love for country cooking, gardening, food preservation and living a simple life in the countryside!

  • Ad Free Login
  • Privacy Policy
  • Disclosure
  • Ad Free Subscription

Footer

Shop Amazon

I am an affiliate for Amazon Services LLC Associates Program. Make a purchase and I’ll receive a small commission.

Go HERE to shop USA

Hey you!

I'm Autumn! I'm here to inspire you with my love for country cooking, gardening, food preservation and living a simple life in the countryside! Read More…

Copyright © 2023 · Midnight theme