Have you ever felt lost in your homemaking life? Uncertain of how to live your days in a profitable, productive manner? Maybe you’ve distinctly felt that something is missing…but you aren’t sure what it is? Perhaps you’ve even felt guilty for not loving your position as a homemaker?!
You’re not alone. Many women flounder when they first step into the shoes of “ full time homemaker.” I know I did…and the floundering went on for a while!
I’m here to help you make sense of this normal dilemma and hopefully help you better understand why you (especially if you’re a beginner) may be struggling and stumbling in your homemaking life.
Let me talk to you about being a homemaker by choice and why it can be difficult!
Why Homemaking Can Be Difficult
Let’s quickly define exactly what a homemaker is before we go on!
According to the dictionary sitting on my bookshelf (yes, I often use a literal copy), the modern definition of a homemaker is “a person who manages a home, especially a woman who is a wife and mother.”
The definition of “homemaker” hasn’t changed for centuries!
But I do know for a fact that the fine print behind it has!
And I believe that’s where the confusion comes in for those of us who are trying to be full time homemakers! Let me explain what I mean.
History of the Homemaker
If you know anything about me, you know I love reading about and studying domestic history! I devour old cookbooks that not only share old fashioned recipes, but also give directions on proper etiquette and behavior for the housewife.
Some of these directives amuse me, others make me thoughtful and still others inspire me to become a better homemaker!
But if there’s one thing I’ve observed, it’s this: the title “homemaker” used to have clarity and specificity surrounding it. The tasks, skill sets and responsibilities that came with homemaking were understood by all.
And if perchance a homemaker didn’t learn all she needed to know in her mother’s home, she had to learn through trial and error in her own home (poor husband!).
Why You Struggle With Full Time Homemaking
The fine print behind homemaking has been steadily changing since the industrial revolution (and even before that time). As women began working jobs outside the home, there was less time to give to the home.
Because there wasn’t enough time in the day and because there was money to pay someone else, the homemaker could drop tasks that were previously necessary for running a household and caring for the family. The mindset toward the home, shifted. And the home became a place where the woman would crash and gear up before heading back out into the work world.
Because of this general shift in our culture, homemaking skills and the knowledge…even the mindset for living a rich, full time life at home…began to slip away.
And now, the “at home” wife and mama has to wrestle with something that has never before existed in the course of human history.
There’s a gap. A lack of knowledge and understanding.
Because full time homemaking is different than part time homemaking. And when there’s no outside job involved, a woman needs to develop new skills and mindsets if she is to be happy with her at-home life!
What Is the Solution?
If you worked a job before becoming a homemaker, you probably saw your home as a place to veg and recharge before heading back to work the next day.
But now that you’re a full time homemaker, caring for your home and the people in it is your primary job. And to live well in this role, you need to treat your home like something more than a pit stop.
I encourage you grab a pen and a piece of paper, to sit down and take 5 minutes to write out the things you want for (and from) your home!
Putting healthy meals on the table important you?
Then start forming a collection of healthy meals your family loves so you don’t go brain-dead at 4pm and pull out a frozen pizza for the 4th time this week.
Is it cleaner spaces you want?
Put yourself on a simple cleaning schedule for the home, even if you can only do 15 minutes a day. And if you have older children, make them start helping!
More intentional time with the kids?
Create a simple “flow” for the day ahead. Not a schedule, but an order in which you want to see basic things happen. Make sure the kid time has a place in that flow.
Maybe you’re an extrovert who wants to be with and share her home with others?
Be intentional about setting up play dates, about having friends over for tea or sharing a meal.
Choose one thing from your list and start incorporating into your life and routine this week!
Being a Homemaker by Choice (and how to like it)
Making the transition from work to being a full time wife and homemaker wasn’t easy for me…and my own mother WAS a full time homemaker. There was a huge mindset shift that had to take place as I transitioned from the “work world” mentality to the “at home” mindset.
But as I became more intentional about my space and priorities, I did slowly settle into this old fashioned occupation.
I even learned to enjoy it! And so can you, if you keep an open mind and remember that you’re in training for a new position!
What has your journey been like? Was it easy for you to settle into at-home life? Do you have any tips for us? Feel free to share them below!