Do you ever struggle with sending those words out of your mouth? I sure do! And in starting to write more about homemaking, I’ve been brought to face this weakness in myself.
As I took time to reflect back over the past year, I thought about the times I was asked “so what do you do for work, Autumn? I never did answer this question with much confidence. I fumbled around and mumbled out the words “I used to teach piano….” And inevitably, the words had to come…”I’m just a stay-at-home wife”
Which often led others to assume that I was a good woman who was sacrificing her career and pay cheque to raise her wonderful children! And when they’d ask how many kids we had, I’d choke out the word…none. No kids yet.
They’d look at me with a questioning expression in their eyes. A sort of oh???
Sometimes I Wish They Knew
I know. I shouldn’t care about what others think! And I don’t let it get to me…much. But sometimes, I do squirm a little bit at the unjust picture those words paint.
Sometimes I can almost see what these people are envisioning! Those words make it sounds as if I spend my days lounging around home, watching TV while munching on potato chips. That I don’t really do anything with my life or days. Those words paint a picture of luxury, that I have it “easy.” They make it sound as if my man supports my lounging, instead of me supporting him and his work!
While you and I both know the truth about my life, they don’t. And I struggle with the thought of being misunderstood!
If only they knew…
Sometimes, I wish they knew how difficult it is for me to not work a job! To be at home alone day after day without anyone to keep me motivated, all the while trying to maintain a disciplined lifestyle and stay on top of my health!
I wish they could see all the little things I do to keep living costs to a minimum, so we can save more of the money my man brings home!
Part of me wants to explain that I’m a full time homemaker who always has more on her to-do list than she can possibly accomplish in a day. My healthy lifestyle keeps me on my toes and I’m in the kitchen every day, preparing or preserving some type of food!
But that’s not all. I also keep a natural home. Create with my hands. I drag myself into doing laundry and repeat the same, simple thing over and over again. Sometimes, it’s harder than working a 9-5 job! Because no one sees. No one knows. And often, there’s no evidence or measurable reward (like a pay cheque!) at the end of the month.
It can all get to me after a while…
But It All Comes Aright When I Get Outside
But those burdens grow lighter when I pull on my farm boots and head outside. I feel happiest when I’m weeding my gardens, pulling carrots or harvesting tomatoes. I feel most content inside when I’m gathering eggs or looking in on our little farm animals. Observing nature and life around me. Happiness comes when I can give someone else a helping hand because…well…I’m NOT tied down to a 9-5!
In those moments, I suddenly gain perspective. It really doesn’t matter what strangers or acquaintances think! It’s a good life I’m living. I fought hard to get to this place in life and I aim to stay here!
So no more!
My Commitment
Today, I’m making a commitment. From now on, when someone asks me what I do, I’m going to lift my chin, look them in the eye and tell ’em straight: I’m the laaaaady of the house!
A regular, good-hearted Cinderella who sweeps floors, prepares the meals, keeps the home and lends a helping hand whenever she can.
Yes, me! I have dishpan hands and callouses. I bake bread and fold laundry. I create beauty in my home while working hard to live a frugal life. And I’m particularly conscious to keep things as natural as I can and put clean, nutritious food on the table!
Did I already mention I grow food? Lots of food? And that I preserve it too? Would you like to come over for tea sometime and sample my old fashioned apple cake? Oh here, let me give you a basket of fresh vegetables before you go! There you are!
Unashamed. That’s going to be my new motto. Unashamed and open handed. Because that’s how a good homemaker’s life should be lived!
Would you agree?
I was a stay-at-home wife for six years before we had two children. It was a struggle not to feel like I had to justify why we were doing what we were doing (why am I not taking the chance to earn as much money as possible?). I have never regretted our choice. I now homeschool our children and I cannot imagine not being home so much of the time. It is safe, it protects, it nurtures, it produces. Keep going, you’re living a good, good life.
It’s always nice to find other women who have done the same thing! Thanks for sharing your thought!
I know EAXCTLY what you are talking about here, Autumn. For me as a stay at home wife,the very hardest part is trying to be self motivated enough to NOT sit and read and eat chips all day. I’m.lazy I really am and this is a terrible struggle for me. Any more articles on how you structure your life would be super interesting. We homemakers, we rock 🙂 we gotta make this an understood art in today’s madness of careers
Hurray for homemaking! If more “homemaking structure” talk would help you, I’ll make it priority to put more out! 🙂
You are living my life!!!!! OMGOSH girlfriend…well, when someone asks me what I do, I look them straight in the eye, I say, I do whatever it takes…whatever it takes to stay sane in this dog eat dog world. I don’t buy into the same premise almost everyone else does. I only do what’s important for myself and my husband. I do too much to list….and I’m really busy right now, so please excuse me, gotta go….and I leave.
I do whatever it takes..I like that!