So Autumn, are you ready to retire your husband yet? I hear it from time to time in reference to my blogging. And always, I laugh. People think I have a much larger following than I do. Folks think I’m pursuing lofty goals with my writing. Individuals are prone to consider me educated in the blogging world because well, I’ve been at it for a bit.
It’s true that I do love this blog. I love writing for you. I’m grateful you are willing to join me in life’s journey. I’m so glad we can share a tiny piece of life together in a very small way.
But for me, it’s not about going big in my writing. Or in my home. In my life goals, my faith or in my relationships.
No. No. And no. In fact, the older I get, the more firmly the idea has been implanted in my mind. It’s not about going big!
Though I didn’t always believe this.
As most teenagers and young adults do, I went through a phase, searching for a place where I could shine. I pursued music and considered becoming a teacher. I threw myself into horse training and considered apprenticing under an Australian trainer. As my interest in counseling grew, I planned to end up with a degree. Even in my walk with God, I wasn’t ok with a hum-drum existence.
In everything I pursued, I carried the hope that I could stand out, shine in my field! I wasn’t afraid of discipline, hard work or giving something my all. I had a stick-to-itiveness about me. Everywhere I went, I worked hard, motivated by the message that the world pounded into my ambitious youthfulness: you were meant to be a big deal.
Even in my Christian community, I was told that God had big plans for my life and meant to do big things through me.
I believed it. And I lived like it! I eagerly waited for the moment when big things would start happening through me. However, as years passed me by and this desire never became a reality, I began to reconsider the idea. I’ve since come to a conclusion that sometimes still shocks me.
Today, I believe I was meant to be ordinary!
You see, as I took time to observe life around me, I couldn’t help but notice the world has very few shining stars. I also couldn’t help but notice it’s not the shining individuals who do big things.
A forest isn’t made of one, two or even three trees. A general can’t win a war on his own. Even the best of leaders find themselves useless without the support of many.
And I’m realizing it’s not those who shine that make the biggest difference in our world, in God’s kingdom. It’s the ordinary folks like you and I, when we are faithful in the little things.
And so, I confess to you today. I don’t believe there’s a special distinction awaiting me. I was meant to be ordinary. You and I are players in a much bigger game, and our faithfulness in the little things is what makes this earth go round, is what brings God’s kingdom to the people of our world.
I no longer search here and there for my place. I’m no longer distracted by lofty goals. I no longer ask God “when?” as I wait for big things to happen. Today, I know. I was meant to be ordinary. And there’s a unique peace and sense of purpose that comes with knowing my place.
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