Drowning In the Autumn Season

Every year, I find myself here. Every autumn this Autumn struggles to respect her physical limitations. It happens again and again: as winter days draw near, I find myself running like I’m on the home stretch!

Perhaps I am?

Instead of listening to my body’s craving for sleep, I find myself up and at it before my man leaves for work. There are so many things that need doing, things that press on me and ultimately push me out of bed. I can get so much more done with an early start!

I’m supposed to rest in the afternoons, but instead of reading and napping, I find myself busy in the kitchen. I don’t mean to get sucked into canning, but it feels so wonderful to have all that preserved food behind us, I forget to watch the clock in my satisfaction!

On these sharp, cold evenings I should be at home, curled up before the wood stove with my rug making supplies or a good book. Instead, I find myself quietly sitting on the cold forest floor, shivering as I wait for a whitetail deer to appear in the scope of my rifle.

I really ought to take weekends to slow down and enjoy the company of friends! But here I am, butchering birds, digging vegetables, canning more food and thinking about everything I want to do in the gardens before snow flies.

Will I ever learn? Or is it just the curse of raising your own food?

Because of my lifestyle choice, is this pre-winter frenzy something I instinctively take on without realizing it? Am I like the bear before hibernation, feeling the need to stock up while the goods are still available?

My man and I have been discussing this dilemma. How do we make things easier on ourselves next year? And as we talk, we work.

It seems we just can’t help it!

There are 30+ laying hens chilling in the freezer. Just outside the Mountain Cottage, a harvested deer hangs in the pine trees. Onions fill a basket in the pantry while potatoes lie in sacks on the floor. Canning shelves are filling up. Boxes of apples line the kitchen wall, pears soften on the dining room table and in my pantry, green tomatoes ripen, requiring my attention.

I really shouldn’t be pushing myself, but somehow, it feels right. I can’t explain it, nor do I understand it. I just know that now is the time to hustle. Have you ever been there?

I’m drowning in the autumn season. And somehow, I feel as if I’m right where I ought to be.