I once heard someone say a person changes every 7 years. I wasn’t sure I believed it. And I’m still not sure I believe it to be true for every person.
But one thing I do know?
I’ve significantly changed from the person I was 7 years ago.
She loved to hustle and grind it out. She loved setting goals that seemed unattainable and then found purpose in fighting to make them a reality. She carried an attitude of “bring it, honey!”
Case in point?
Folks said we’d soon be back when we decided to move 1,000 km away from friends and family to a low income farming community.
And while moving wasn’t easy, but we’re still here 7+ years later!
When we decided to stay, people said we would never be able save enough money for a down payment on land and home while paying for my health needs and living on my man’s low income.
We entered into a season of intentionally handling our money, gained wisdom and learned self denial. It wasn’t fun, but 3 years later, we had enough to put 25% down on our mortgage.
When folks caught wind of the fact that we were going to spend a Canadian winter in a 8×12 shed on the property without running water as we built our home, they said it wouldn’t last and that I’d go crazy.
They were just about right that time. 😉
We were told we’d never be able to clear our land and build our little cottage in a year’s time.
We were exhausted by the end, but we did move into our (mostly) finished cottage before the year was up.
I think about the gardens. Everyone who saw our rocky piece of land said I’d never be able to grow anything here. But I relished the challenge. I found a deep sense of gratification in learning how to amend soil, create gardens and make it work. And now, I harvest hundreds of pounds of food from our gardens every year.
Like I said. That woman found challenges invigorating. She loved to rise and meet them halfway. It didn’t matter if her appearance, homes and gardens weren’t perfect. She was busy learning, adjusting and figuring things out, so life would be easier when she did start a family.
And since the arrival of our baby girl, something is changing inside of me.
Just the other day, I was trying to find the words to properly express it all to my man.
I’m ready to be done with the grind and sacrifice. I’m ready to move from having the raw basics to actually making things lovely.
You know, husband dear, I’m spending more time than ever in our cottage with our baby girl. I’m just dying to have some finishing touches that appeal to my artistic heart and make me feel like a settled adult and housewife.
Take our tiny dining room, for example. The wide table and giant chairs we have in there are too big and I’m constantly shoving them around. And then there’s the bathroom shelf that never got its doors. How about the beautiful lights you started making for our living room? The furniture we want to get?
Maybe I could just put in a massive order? Or hire a handyman? Or do it myself (bad idea!).
At that point, I think he started wondering where his wife went! 🙂
It must be the bad case of baby brain she’s dealing with. Or has she always had this problem and I just now noticed?
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to be caught up in material things. Or fall for the lie that my world will suddenly come together if only I had such-and-such.
But I do feel like we’ve paid our dues. And now? It’s ok to start enjoying life a bit. To have a few nice things in our possession. Mostly, I just want to feel settled. To be able to say “it’s finished, done and I can just enjoy life now.”
It’s been 7 years of hustling, grinding and working my fingers to the bone. And now? I’m done.
The woman in me is ready to stop addressing the structure of my life and start enjoying some adornments. So be on the look out.
I’ve been bribing my man. No really. I have! I told him if he’ll continue to tackle small project around here that make our home feel “adorned,” I’ll do my part to increase our social life by regularly having folks up for supper 1 night a week.
Pinky promise. Cross my heart. Hope to die.
It’ll be good to see things move forward around here again. So good.
I always felt that things changed for me around my 30s, although I wasn’t sure if it was my age or having children. I found it to be a distinct shift, where I was needing to put down roots. (Very removed from my previous desires.)
I’ll put you down as a vote for “having had children.”
Yes to babies! And to being stuck in the house a whole lot more! 🙂